The Thought That Counts - Managing Stress to Develop Resilience 2

Short inspirational insights around emotional intelligence, resilience and related topics. Develop key skills that lead to stronger relationships, personal growth and greater wellbeing. 

Robin Hills (Ei4Change) contributed a series of bite-sized, uplifting and motivational soundbites for Bolton FM.

Featured every day for a week as The Thought that Counts, these were broadcast on the Breakfast Show and on the Lunchtime Show.

The soundbites have been put together in a single short podcast episode for your enjoyment.

This podcast explores managing stress to develop resilience:

• A Mindset for Problem Solving
• Get Connected
• Be Socially Competent
• Be Proactive
• The Poison in Resilience

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Transcript

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Here are my latest contributions to my local radio station's, The Thought That Counts slot, which is broadcast on the breakfast show and the lunchtime show over a period of a week. Each broadcast lasts about 90 seconds. My contributions are all based around some aspect of emotional intelligence and resilience. I've put my contributions together as hints and tips in this podcast. On this occasion, my reflections continue to explore managing stress to develop your resilience, covering a Mindset for Problem Solving, Get Connected, Be Socially Competent, Be Proactive, T he Poison in Resilience. I hope that you enjoyed the podcast and these The Thought That Counts The Thought That Counts. Do you have so many problems in your life that you don't know what to do? What is your first reaction to your problems? Do you panic and get overwhelmed by life's challenges? To become more resilient, develop a mindset for problem solving. A problem is a chance for you to do your best. Emotions that drain and stop you from problem solving are anger, hurt and guilt. Engagement, contentment and happiness will facilitate or enhance your ability to solve problems. You can boost these to feel more confident with your problems by thinking critically, creatively and reflectively. Problems cannot be solved with the same level of thinking that created them in the first place, so gather as much information about the issue as possible. Define the problem precisely and accurately, evaluating it objectively. View seemingly impossible problems as challenges and opportunities for learning and growth. View failures as opportunities for inspiration. Look at the problem from different perspectives. Collaborate with other people and work through your problems together. Generate a number of options drawing from your experience and the experience of others. Critically review the options and decide what will work. Solve problems for the long term. Be decisive and start to put agreed plans into action. Anticipate setbacks and mishaps- they're going to occur. The problem is not the problem, i t's your attitude to the problem. The Thought That Counts. Do you feel isolated and alone at critical times? How often do you feel left out? Do you feel that no one understands you and what you're facing currently? To become more resilient, get connected with other people. Feeling connected with other people is a basic human need. Everything is connected. Nothing can change by itself. Emotions that drain you and stop you from getting connected are loneliness, anger and sadness. Engagement, love and contentment are emotions that facilitate you getting connected. To get more connected to others at a deeper level, reach out to others. Contribute to other people's welfare by giving of yourself. Look for new opportunities to build your network. Proactively, seek out the chance to engage with different people. Look at ways you can get involved and help others with their problems, but be willing to seek support for yourself. Build bridges, discover common ground, be playful and creative when exploring opportunities together. Touch each other's hearts. Communicate with empathy. Listen. Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. It occurs when they can give and receive without judgement and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship. When we're connected to others, we become better people. The Thought That Counts. How good are you in social settings? Do you find it easy to talk to others and make friends? To become more resilient, b e socially competent. You may not be great at meeting people, learn to listen first. You can learn a lot about someone that way. Emotions that drain and stop you from being socially competent are guilt, l oneliness and hurt. L ove, happiness, and passion are emotions that facilitate you being socially competent. Evaluate your existing network to ensure that you can draw upon a variety of background, skills and experience. Keep an open mind to broaden your horizons. Seek out good relationships and social interactions. Consider other's perspectives and viewpoints, especially if they're different from yours. Demonstrate empathy and an understanding for others. You don't need to agree with them, you just need to understand. Share your feelings honestly. Laugh at yourself. Enjoy humour as a part of your social interactions. Be selective about the support you need and ask people for help, both on the practical and an emotional level. One of the hallmarks of social competence is being inclusive, not exclusive with your friendships. Be yourself without damaging anyone else. You become important as long as everyone else is. The Thought That Counts. Do you wait for things to change and get better? Are you looking for something to happen that will make things better - that one opportunity that will turn things around? Are you waiting for the moment that will change your life? To become more resilient, be proactive. Don't wait for something to happen, make it happen. Truly successful people create their own opportunities. They act not react. If you're proactive, you focus on preparing, if you're reactive, you focus on repairing. Emotions that drain and stop you from being proactive are frustration, hopelessness and inadequacy. Enthusiasm, esteem, and pride are emotions that facilitate you being proactive. Engage, change directly. Take the lead and become a role model for others. Focus on and expand your sphere of influence. Use your foresight to plan ahead and prioritise. Focus on what actions you can take rather than waiting for others to act. Act decisively. Critically, evaluate how tasks can be completed more efficiently. Keep on top of the less urgent tasks. Don't waste time on truly unnecessary tasks. Experience and celebrate small victories. Identify and develop the skills that you will need for the future. Do what today others won't so that tomorrow you can do what others can't. The Thought That Counts. Resilience has become a generational buzzword. It's unfortunate that the words"resilient" and "resilience" are relatively vague terms which are overused and misused at times. Every news bulletin, every documentary about recent events and even sporting commentaries are liberally littered with the words. If we define resilience just as the ability to withstand adversity, it does nothing to address the causes of the adversity in the first place, and there is even poison within its meaning. Resilience and being resilient can throw a focus on the ability or the responsibility of people to accommodate some form of adversity and goes along with their capacity and compliance to accept less than favourable circumstances. These may include inadequate resourcing, inequitable conditions and political agendas that work against their long term well being. The focus on resilience and applauding people for being resilient makes it too easy for leaders and policymakers to avoid looking for real solutions. It's become too easy to push problems back onto others, referring to their resilience rather than to tackle these problems directly or look to the cause of the problems. Let's extract the poison and look at reserving the use of the words "resilient" and "resilience" within their correct context and so give more resilience to resilience. I'm Robin Hills from Ei4 Change. Empowering y our Emotional Management. The Thought That Counts.