The Thought That Counts : Episode 12 - The Skills and Qualities of Resilience 1

Robin Hills (Director, Ei4Change) has been asked to contribute a series of bite-sized, inspirational soundbites for Bolton FM.

Featured every day for a week as The Thought that Counts, these were broadcast on the Breakfast Show and on the Lunchtime Show.

This podcast explores the skills and qualities of resilience:

• Bouncing Back
• Endurance
• Keeping Focus
• New Growth
• Self-Management

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Transcript

0:20

I often contribute to my local radio station's, The Thought That Counts slot, which is broadcast on the breakfast show and the lunchtime show over a period of a week. Each broadcast lasts about 90 seconds. My contributions are all based around some aspect of emotional intelligence. During the pandemic. I've concentrated on aspects of resilience and delivered these without reference to the situation, allowing people to interpret them in whatever way suits them. I've put my contributions together as hints and tips in this podcast. On this occasion, my reflections cover the skills and qualities of resilience - B ouncing Back, Endurance, Keeping focus, New growth and Self-management. I hope that you enjoy the podcast and these The Thought That Counts. The Thought That Counts. Bouncing back is a term that we frequently hear. While this is intended to bring encouragement and hope, it can have the opposite effect as it gives us the sense that we have to go back to who we were and where we were before the experience occurred. Being told that we have to bounce back can leave us feeling stuck and inadequate. The reality is all of our experiences change our brains, making bounce back an impossible feat. We can't go back to how we were. Balls and space hoppers bounce and returned to their original shape, and no one knows what they've been subjected to. Roly-poly toys wobble when pushed, and they've got the ability to right themselves or regain their original position after being pushed around. No matter what happens to them, they're able to bounce back to an upright position as if nothing's happened. What's your reaction to being pushed around? How do you recover from stressful situations? How often do you just carry on as if nothing bad has happened to you? How does this make you feel? What happens in the short term? What techniques do you use to cope with situations that last over a long period of time? How do you keep yourself going? Nelson Mandela said, "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." The Thought That Counts. Do you sometimes feel as if you're in a race to get to an endpoint but are being continually held back? At times it feels like you take three steps forward and two steps back, as if you're being pulled back by a piece of elastic rope. It's like an obstacle course. You have to jump over many hurdles and jump through a number of hoops, and these obstacles require the necessary stamina to tackle them in the correct sequence and in the right way to finish the course. This seems to involve doing more things than is strictly necessary. Endurance is your ability to exert yourself and to remain active for long periods of time, as well as the ability to resist, withstand and overcome external forces and pressure. It's important to recognise that despite all of this, you are still making some progress often when it seems like you're taking three steps forward and two steps back. It's worth considering what's hindering your progress, what's holding you back. How do you react to the challenges that the hurdles present to you? Many of these will be outside of your control, but you need to deal with in these situations. What keeps you going? How does this help to build your resilience. Endurance is patience concentrated, not just the ability to bear something hard, but to turn it into glory. The Thought That Counts. The ultimate goal may be clear to you, but the way ahead is set with a number of different challenges and risks. You may know what these are and you may be able to plan for them, and each of these will need attention before you get to the end point. The goal is worth the effort, but it's unclear how long it will take you to achieve it as each of the risks needs to be assessed, and each challenge needs to be faced head on and dealt with. It's like seeing a treasure chest on a tropical island, but before you get to the tropical island, there are icebergs and sharks and pirates in the way. How clear are you about your purpose, your goals and your ambitions? How achievable are your goals and ambitions? What plans do you make to achieve your goals and ambitions? How well do you anticipate what lies ahead? How do you plan for the challenges ahead of you and the risks that you need to take? What skills are going to be needed to tackle the challenges? Do you have the skills or will you need help and input from other people? How are you going to acquire these skills? What contingency plans do you make when you implement these plans? Are they implemented before an insurmountable challenge, during it, or when you've had a go? Always remember your focus determines your reality. Focus on your goal. Don't look in any direction but ahead. The Thought That Counts. A typical image that we're likely to see around resilience is a plant growing in an unlikely place. The plant grows where others would fail to flourish. It's usually a barren, parched environment. The plant will eventually grow to full maturity and will be an integral part of the new landscape and the new environment. Out of the perceived adversity comes opportunity. Life continues to flourish. There's new growth and there are new prospects. Often we find ourselves in situations where we have to grow and adapt. The environment may seem barren and devoid of any opportunities for growth. The important thing is to thrive and to grow and to develop where other people may fail. It involves change of attitude, change of approach, a change in the way in which you're working with your environment. Thinking about new growth, what does change mean to you? What's your reaction to change? How adaptable are you to changing conditions? How much do you enjoy working in new environments? What excitement you get from new situations? How do others react to the way that you manage change? Life moves forward, the old withers, dies and falls away. Make room for new growth that extends forward into the light. If we're growing, we're always going to be outside of our comfort zone. The Thought That Counts. Often there is a need for tenacity and persistence to focus and concentrate on the task at hand. Despite many tempting distractions, the long term achievement or outcome of the task that you're focused on is considered to be more important than any short term gratification. An example of this is when you're studying and the sun shining, and your family wants to engage with you, and your friends are coming around. There's something interesting on the television and it's very tempting to look and see what's happening on social media. How important to you is your ultimate goal? What guides your focus towards this goal? How much is your focus driven by you or by others? What is the price of not achieving your goal? What is your attitude to failure? To what extent does everything else seem frivolous or unimportant? How much of your focus is driven by you? How much of your focus is driven by other people? How much of your focus is driven by a willingness to please others? What do other people think about your focus? How much is your focus on the task detrimental to yourself and to your relationship with other people? How important is it for you to schedule in some fun time? Unless you have a courage that keeps you going, no matter what happens, there's no certainty of success. I'm Robin Hills from Ei4Change. Empowering your emotional management. The Thought That Counts.