The Thought That Counts Ei4Change Podcasts on Emotional Intelligence

Ei4Change: The Thought That Counts - Episode 4

May 27, 2020 Robin Hills Episode 4
The Thought That Counts Ei4Change Podcasts on Emotional Intelligence
Ei4Change: The Thought That Counts - Episode 4
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Robin Hills (Director, Ei4Change) regularly contributes a series of bite-sized, inspirational soundbites for Bolton FM.

Featured every day for a week as The Thought that Counts, these were broadcast on the Breakfast Show around 7.20 am and on the Lunchtime Show usually around 12.20 pm.

This podcast covers

  • What is Motivation?
  • Trust in Relationships
  • Issues around Blaming
  • Being a Mentor
  • What is an Organisation?


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This podcast continues the series of bite size inspirational sound bites that were recorded for Bolton FM. Featured everyday for a week as the Thought That Counts, these are broadcast on the Breakfast Show around 730 in the morning, and on the lunchtime show, usually around 1230. Within this podcast, the subjects covered are - "What is Motivation?", "Trust in Relationships", "Issues around Blaming", "What is an Organisation?", and "Mentoring a Young Person". The Thought That Counts. Motivation is the process which encourages and guides our behaviour. When we think about what motivation is, we often think about gaining some type of reward - like money - or losing something - like our job. Since people are complicated, there is no one way of motivating them. To answer the question, "How do I motivate Joe or Jenny?" I can only say, "It depends". Our understanding of what actually happens in the world of work around motivation is changing through science. Research is showing that trying to motivate others using a carrot-and-stick approach doesn't work over the long term, and can often do more harm than good. Enlightened individuals are recognising that people are motivated by three things - Autonomy, a desire to drive our own lives in our own way. Mastery, the urge to get better and better at something that matters to us, and Purpose, the yearning to do what we do in the service of something that is greater than ourselves. Motivation is what gets you started. What keeps you going is the right level of autonomy, the right purpose, and aiming to become a master of what you do. The Thought That Counts. As humans, we have a natural disposition to trust. Trust helps us to build good relationships and makes our interactions with others more worthwhile. People will trust and support you if you know that you truly care about them, by being consistent, and how you communicate with them. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Being able to show people that you're human by admitting mistakes, also builds trust. Often we're taught that we're supposed to hide our mistakes, but if you can admit to them, and talk about what you're going to do to move forward, you can start establishing trust. Now, I'm obviously not talking about messing up all of the time - that's going cause distrust. Trust is about being vulnerable, and using that vulnerability to be strong and fearless. The vulnerabilities that I'm referring to, include weaknesses, skills, deficiencies, shortcomings, mistakes and requests for help. Trust is earned when you tell people the truth, no matter how hard it is. Trusting you is my decision. Proving me right, is yours. The Thought That Counts. When something goes wrong, do you automatically want to try and find out whose fault it is, to put the blame on someone or something else? Blaming is a way of discharging anger. Blaming others is no more than excusing yourself. Blaming is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain, and makes you less accountable. Being accountable is admitting vulnerability. It means facing up to your emotions and talking about an issue, not blaming. People who blame a lot seldom have the courage to hold themselves and others accountable, because all of their energy is spent being angry and trying to work out whose fault it is. Blaming seems to be encouraged by the media and the government. If anything goes wrong, they're very keen to determine who is to blame. Blaming is very corrosive in relationships, and is one of the reasons that we miss opportunities for empathy. When we're blaming, we're not really listening, nor do we really understand what's going on from another person's perspective. I'd rather something be my fault and take responsibility for this, because then it gives me more semblance of control. When I blame others, I lose this control by passing it on, and I'm actually avoiding some truth about myself. Tthe Thought That Counts. You may belong to a social group, or religious group, a sports team, work for company, or any other number of organisations. An organisation is not a fixed object. It's an ongoing event - an interconnected web of interactions in which everyone plays a role. No matter how well designed it is, it's only as good as the people that live and work within it. An organisation is simply the result of the interaction among people working together over a period of time. They cooperate with one another, share similar characteristics and collectively have a sense of unity. Here I am sitting in the offices of Bolton FM, but where and what is the entity that is Bolton FM? It's more than the offices near the market in the centre of Bolton. It's more than the equipment, the programmes the presenters. As with any organisation, it's a dynamic web of interconnections that it creates by engaging with local people, those who work for it, it's volunteers, those who supply services, and you - the listeners. The engagement and the interactions that it has with the community and beyond, and the many ways that it touches and influences lives for the greater good. What part of influence do you have within organisations that you interact with? Probably more than you think. The achievements of any organisation are the results of the combined efforts of each individual, which is greater than the sum of its parts. The Thought That Counts. Over the past couple of years I've been volunteering my time as a mentor for Bolton Lads & Girls Club. It's a role that was new to me, but I take very seriously. It involves spending an hour a week meeting a young person and giving them my time. I'm not there to do anything other than to be there for them as a responsible adult, to spend some consistent quality time together. It's about helping to develop self esteem, confidence and resilience. An hour a week can be challenging for me because my work can take me all over the country, and indeed all over the world. However, it helps to give me a focus outside of my working life and my home life. Mentoring is a two way street. Apart from enjoying the delights that the Bolton fast food restaurants have to offer, we've gone for walks, been to the cinema, played games - many that I haven't played for many years - and reflected on life together. The young lads that I've mentored have taught me things have helped me to see things in new ways. And they've even helped and advised me on aspects of my business. Bolton Lads & Girls Club are always requiring new mentors. They're looking for adults from all walks of life to match with young people who've demonstrated a need for one-to-one support. I'm pleased to be able to help. What are your thoughts about becoming a mentor? Winston Churchill said, "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." I'm Robin Hills from Ei4Change. Empowering your Emotional Management. The Thought That Counts. Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What is Motivation?
Trust in Relationships
Issues around Blaming
What is an Organisation?
Mentoring a Young Person